The question: Is spanking child abuse?
The answer: It depends on state law and personal morals.
In Michigan, Michigan Compiled Law (MCL) 750.136b defines child abuse. MCL 750.136b(7) specifically exempts from criminal punishment a parent or guardian (or someone authorized by them) who takes steps to reasonably discipline a child, including the use of reasonable force. In other words, if spanking is performed with reasonable force, then that is acceptable.
The debate is clearly a personal one. Many persons with children never expect to and never would spank them. Many prefer a firm voice and demeanor along with explanation over corporal punishment, which would serve a higher purpose of maintaining the child's autonomy and dignity. Furthermore, it has been proven to work where the children are happy, respectful, and well-disciplined both at home and in public.
Many persons have family and friends who spank their children and the children do not seem to be scarred. Yet, one wonders what was it about their verbal communication that it was not effective enough to get the job done alone. It seems that getting anyone, including your child, to do or refrain from doing something is the same as making a pitch for a sale where effective communication, explanation, understanding and rewards where appropriate seal the deal.
Consider a mother who tells her 5 year-old-daughter and her daughter's friend of the same age, to stop throwing rocks in the yard. They do not head her directive and she sternly tells them a second time. Still they do not discontinue and mom is about to threaten spanking when mom's adult friend walks over to the children, bends down and speaks to them in a concerned and friendly motherly voice at their level.
She says, "kids, if you do not stop throwing rocks in the yard, when mommy mows the lawn and you are outside, the lawn mower could run over a rock and the blades could shoot it out from under, and make the rock hit you in the face! Wow, that would hurt wouldn't it! And, what would you do? You would not be able to get out of the way fast enough even if you jumped this high (and mom's friend jumps in the air)." The kids then start jumping and the point hits home and they cease the prohibited activity. In this example, effective communication works like a charm.
Those who do spank seem to have the law on their side. The federal constitutional gives us the right to rear our children in accordance with our own beliefs and most state laws allow parents to use "reasonable" corporal punishment, as with Michigan as noted above.
It is a fine line to tow and hard to judge the spankers, because when it comes to the government telling us how to raise our children, we tend to want it out of the arena. But, consider this: Do we hit our children to punish them when they are teenagers? We see that less often and why? Because we see them as more equal to us at that stage and they can defend themselves.
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